Don’t Shop Hungry!
I’m sure just about all of us at one time or another has found ourselves starving, and then came up with the logical solution of running to the grocery store.
That makes sense: they sell food there.
And, If we eat the food, well, we won’t be hungry anymore.
Sweet!! Life is good again!!
However, there’s usually more to it than that. I don’t know about you, but when I go to the grocery store hungry, everything looks good!
And if I don’t have a plan and stick to it, I’ll pick something that looks good but has no nutritional value. Maybe you’ve been there yourself—sitting in the front seat of your car inhaling a bag of potato chips—and then nursing a serious stomach ache a couple hours later. That’s no fun.
Calories, But No Nutrition
But it’s interesting how people unconsciously use this same losing strategy when they’re “hungry for love”. They take their hunger to people, places, and things that might fit the immediate need to extinguish the loneliness, but soon after, the heartache returns because there was no true and lasting substance. What looks good to the eyes isn’t always good for the body.
As a Life Coach and Relationships Expert who guides people through the valley of divorce and breakups, I’ll share with you the same advice that changed my life for the better: if you find yourself newly single—stay that way!
“What?! That’s your advice?” I hear you say. Yes, yes it is….let me explain.
In our culture, and to a large extent, with the human race, it’s a natural tendency to replace what we’ve recently lost. If we lose a pair of sunglasses, we go out and buy a new pair before the next sunny day. If we lose a cell phone, we typically replace that within the afternoon!
But when it comes to relationships, rushing out to replace what we’ve lost can be a costly—and sometimes—tragic mistake. People coming out of relationships are vulnerable to making poor choices out of desperation.
I’m sure we all know at least one person who has made an unwise choice during a highly emotional season of their life.
Don’t let that happen to you…
Stretch, Grow, Become!
Find a safe and healthy place to take your feelings. Look into support groups, church, or individual coaching. These healing resources can help you stabilize and begin a true recovery- not a false one that’s plagued with one rebound relationship after another.
Go on a “relationship fast”. Fasting is a healing practice that’s been around for centuries, and for good reason- it works! Make a commitment to remain single for a given period of time (I would recommend one year)(chill out- it’s really not that hard) and do the work to really get to know yourself- the good and the not-so-good
Read the Bible. Relax—you don’t need to read the whole thing right out of the gate. Some of my clients are Christians and some are not. However, I’ve discovered that even those who were not interested in the Bible at first, end up really digging the book of Proverbs. Each Proverb is short, sweet, and full of wisdom. And hey, who couldn’t use a little more wisdom?
This is a very brief list of things I suggest to my clients on the road to breakup/divorce recovery. I mean really, I could write an entire book on the subject—oh, wait a second, I did!—and it will be available later this year!
Until then, trust in the process and that God has an amazing plan for your life.
Change isn’t easy. If it was, everyone would be living the dream. Having a coach who takes people from where they are to where they want to be makes all the difference. Call me today to learn more.
Copyright © 2012 Scott Milnes All Rights Reserved
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