The One Thing- How To Keep A Relationship Strong
I do a lot of networking around San Diego. For me, it’s fun to meet new people, learn what they do, and share my passion for helping people achieve amazing relationships.
Oftentimes, upon hearing what I do, people will ask…
“So Scott, what’s the best piece of advice you can give me to keep a relationship strong?”
When I first heard this question, I have to be honest- I was challenged to come up with just one key piece of advice. I wanted to give them a top ten, or at least a top five!
And so it forced me to really think about it- to really distill my thoughts into one key concept.
Here it is. Are you ready?
“Don’t stop doing the little things you did in the beginning of the relationship”
I truly believe that if we keep doing the little things we did in the beginning, you know- those thoughtful, loving, caring gestures that caused the object of our desire to fall in love with us- things will work out just fine. Because…..
There is no coasting in great relationships
Unfortunately, I see all too often people who “let off the gas” and start coasting once they’ve reached a certain milestone in the relationship.
Perhaps they’ve made a commitment to be exclusive, or they’ve moved in together, or got married. A sense of familiarity and permanence develops, and they get lazy.
They’re no longer really “in pursuit” of each other, and it starts to show.
Don’t let that happen to you.
It’s unrealistic-and even unfair- to think someone will be magically satisfied with less love and affection than what was there in the beginning.
It’s like a company that woos you to get your business, and once they have you under contract, the customer service seems to slowly disappear.
“Hey! Where’s the love?” you ask yourself.
Stretch, Grow, Become!
Starting today, make a conscious decision to keep love alive by continuing the trend you established in courtship.
To accomplish this, make a list of things you did to attract your partner.
How did you act?
What did you do?
What feelings did you create in them to advance the relationship?
Did you go on dates in the beginning? I’m sure you did. The question is, are you now?
And if so- how many per month? Check in with each other and agree on a frequency. Then get out a calendar and book some dates!
Did you do little things for each other in the beginning? Of course you did. I frequently hear that “it was the little things” that made them fall in love with their significant other. Maybe it was phone calls, greeting cards, backrubs, flowers, or cooking a meal.
Have a conversation and re-discover what those things were.
Are they happening now, or have they completely vanished from the landscape of your relationship?
Create a list, and then secretly strategize when you plan to surprise your partner with a sweet reminder of how much they mean to you.
Keeping love alive is a daily, weekly, and monthly decision. It’s a commitment that starts with the awareness. In essence, you did certain things in the beginning, and that needs to continue.
How about you? What are some things you did in the beginning of love that you are ready to recommit to now? I Can’t wait to hear your response!
Change isn’t easy. If it was, everyone would be living the dream. Having a coach who takes people from where they are to where they want to be makes all the difference. Contact me today to schedule your complimentary coaching session.
Copyright © 2012-2014 Scott Milnes All Rights Reserved
Leave a Reply