The Three Relationships You Don’t Want Out of Order!
When I sit back and take a long look at the current state of relationships today, I notice an alarming number of people trying to develop relationships with others when they honestly have no idea who they are themselves. No clue. Truth is, they’ve spent a lot of their lives trying to “get to know” others, and very little if any time getting to know themselves.
Getting to know YOU
And when you put so much energy into trying to launch a relationship without truly knowing yourself at a core level, the results are predictably miserable. I’m sure most, if not all of us, have witnessed this happen in the life of someone we know.
Who knows, maybe you even have a story of your own….I know I do.
I recently had the honor of presenting my Relationship Recovery Workshop Series to the M.A.C.S. singles ministry. Within 20 minutes of the first session, I began teaching on “The three relationships we get tragically out of order- God, self, & others”.
Relationship #1- My relationship with God
Relationship #2- My relationship with myself
Relationship #3- My relationship with others
Being somewhat of a spiritual anthropologist, here’s what I see happening out there in the dating world. There are people out there who don’t know who they are, and they burn a lot of time trying to develop relationships with others. Then, when that relationship doesn’t work out, they quickly find themselves trying to make one work with someone else. Ah yes, the rebound relationship. Wash, rinse, and repeat works great for clean hair, but it’s no way to live our lives when it comes to relationships!
Again, trying to develop relationships with others without knowing ourselves is always an exercise in futility. Deep inside, I feel we all know this. However, getting to know ourselves (both the good and the not-so-good) is often uncomfortable work. But there’s fruit on that tree, so please don’t be afraid to do that work!!
Stretch, Grow, Become.
So, where do we start? What is the first step?
Friends, get to know the God of all creation.
You see, there is a God that has an amazing love for you, and an amazing plan and purpose for your life. When the truth of that everlasting love sinks deep into your soul, it will be impossible for you to accept anything less than Gods Best for your life. When you begin to see yourself the way God sees you, you’ll be on the path to learning who you really are. Please read that again, it’s important.
So, when we’ve ( 1.) invested the time into a relationship with a loving God that loves us like crazy, and then (2.) done the work to uncover and discover who we really are, then we will be equipped to (3.) build relationships with others out of a position of spiritual stability.
Something I share with my clients, and it’s the coolest thing ever- is that when you have done this work and grown into the person God has always wanted you to be, you’ll be able to quickly recognize who hasn’t. And when you do recognize who hasn’t, you’ll be able to move on with grace and dignity knowing that a loving God truly has an amazing plan for your life.
Change isn’t easy. If it was, everyone would be living the dream. Having a coach who takes people from where they are to where they want to be makes all the difference. Call me today to learn more.
Copyright © 2012 Scott Milnes All Rights Reserved
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